Mormon Girl Escapes the Compound

Mormon Girl Escapes the Compound

Living in Alaska was an eye opening experience for me. 

And quite the culture shock. It’s when I first realized how ignorant some people were.

I worked on a zip line for Alaska Canopy Adventures, now known as Kawanti Adventures. (If you ever go to Ketchikan, Alaska, do this tour. I can genuinely say it’s one of the top three best tours on the Island.) And was able to meet a variety of people from all over the world. 

Perfectly timed thinking picture

On tour you typically get to know your group and your group get’s to know you. One of the first questions always asked is “Where are you from?” to which I always answered, “Utah”. The second question was always, “Oh, are you Mormon?” To which I always answered “Yeup!” But one unusual day a woman with no hint of a joke asked in hushed tones “How did you get away from your father and escape the compound…?”

I honestly had no idea what to say and ended up saying, “My dad basically begged me to move out of his house.” It was one of the more bizarre questions I’ve ever been asked.

All I can say is, I’m grateful people actually said stuff like this out loud to me because it gave me the chance to truly educate them on the facts. Thus begins your education!

Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints do not live in compounds.

They do not practice polygamy, fathers are not domineering, and if you know Mormon’s who live like this, that’s a personality issue, not an approved teaching. Because if you take time to research the teachings of the head men and women of the Church, they’ll all agree with me. Men are taught not to be overbearing, and bossy but are taught to be loving, kind, patient, and helpful. If you know men who aren’t like this, then they’re not doing it right.

My Dad walking me down the isle.

Here is a scriptural reference from the Doctrine and Covenants Section 121 proving that men are taught to be kind.

41 No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;

42 By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile

So if you know men in the Church who you could classify as turds, then you know they probably have a lot of issues. 

Now let’s tackle the second half of this woman’s compound comment…

If you know Mormons who live in a compound, either they have a really tight family or they’re just really weird. And if you know Mormons who have many wives and all that generic crap, they’re probably not Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

Members of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints…

However, do live by these ideals and of course, as with most things, the general public only hears and thus believes the bad stuff. Such as the polygamist compound stereotype. 

The late Prophet, Gordon B Hinkley said

I wish to state categorically that this Church has nothing whatever to do with those practicing polygamy. They are not members of this Church.

Another leader of the Church, Elder M. Russel Ballard said in 2011

Let me state clearly that no polygamist group, including those calling themselves fundamentalist Mormons or other derivatives of our name, has any affiliation whatsoever with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Just a bunch of ragamuffin kids runnin’ amok because we are a tight Mormon family who doesn’t live on a compound. Or in the same states.

That’s the main difference I want people, like this woman to remember. That despite the variety of other branches of the Church, they are not affiliated with it in any way. People who practice polygamy are excommunicated from the Church. 

It’s important to give each person the ability to be their own person. 

To let them act, chose and think for themselves because that’s something we are all given. Even if you know a man who’s a bit overbearing, that could be a personality flaw. If he’s using his authority to dominate people, that’s a character weakness and something he has to overcome.

If you know of a polygamy compound, that’s their illegal choice (and they are most definitely not one of us) so maybe report it and remember that Mormons like me and every other Mormon I know, is a person like you. Just with a differing belief system. 

Further information:

On overbearing men:

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/liahona/2011/06/youth/doctrine-and-covenants-121-41-43?lang=eng

On compounds and Polygamy

https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/news-releases-stories/-mormon-fundamentalists:

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2011/10/the-importance-of-a-name?lang=eng

https://thetreckingfamily.com/mormon-girl-escapes-the-compound/
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42 Comments
  • Keagan says:

    I love Alaska. Went on a cruise and it was great. This makes me want to go back.

  • Pam says:

    So interesting. It’s amazing what people assume isn’t it?

  • I have friends who are Mormon but never have I asked about their Mormon life or what it entails. I am not religious at all and so I just say.. what you believe is your right and what I believe is mine.

    But, this was very interesting to read as I too have always heard the “bad” over the “good” side of being a Mormon.

    Thanks

    • admin says:

      Thank you for reading! I appreciate it. Traveling has given me so many opportunities to ask questions and learn about so many cultures and religions and I’ve decided it’s my time to pay it forward to the wonderful traveling community!

  • jen says:

    Interesting article. I do think Mormonism is an often misunderstood religion.

    • admin says:

      This is true. I believe that’s why it’s important to foster open and honest communication between everyone so we can all learn about each other. It makes life fun.

  • Leeanne says:

    I think I would be just as stumped as you were.

  • Lisa Manderino says:

    Great post! I think this is going to be an amazing series! I can’t wait to hear more about the questions that you have had in regards to religion in your travels.

    • admin says:

      Thank you Lisa! I’m excited to keep reflecting and writing about it. I hope to get more questions as I travel and to be able to give myself and others the opportunity to learn.

  • Trisha says:

    As a mother of 3 kids, I can truly say it never ceases to amaze me at the comments and questions people think are ok to say/ask.

    • admin says:

      But without questions, one ceases to learn. However, I do agree. There’s a good and bad way to ask questions and then there are simply awkward ways.

  • Lori Nielsen says:

    Thanks for this enlightening post! It’s funny what others think about us sometimes.

  • Many of my favorite people are Mormans. They are worldly, educated, open minded and also pretty great communicators. I’m not religious at all but love learning about religions. We were traveling though Utah this summer and saw our first fundamentalists. I refer to them as Mountain Mormons. I wish more people educated themselves before just assuming that all people within any religion are extremists. Like saying to a Muslim…do you have terrorists in your family?

    • admin says:

      I couldn’t agree more! And I love the phrase “mountain mormon” that’s pretty great! Thanks for being a positive advocate 🙂

  • Lee Anne says:

    Thanks for sharing! Glad you took someones strange question and made it a learning experience for those of us reading!

  • Kristin says:

    Traveling is an amazing opportunity to learn about all walks of life. Seeing new places, meeting new people, learning that your way isn’t the only way. That lady expanded her horizons a little bit when she met you!

  • Jay Hall says:

    I have a friend that wants to live in a cabin off the grid in Alaska. It’s literally her dream. I don’t want to go that far but Alaska has always been on my top places to travel list.

  • Lots of people have assumed we are Mormon when we’ve traveled because we have 6 children. It’s interesting the assumptions people will make and then more astounding when they vocalize them.

  • I live in Hawai’i now, but am from Utah and get the same questions. As a member, I have not experience this much. People here are very accepting and loving though of whatever you believe. I am grateful you took a stand to let her and all of us know what you believe. Mahalo!

  • Jordan says:

    I am so intrigued by the things that people believe. It’s good of you to see the lady’s question as a teaching moment instead of getting annoyed. I don’t know if I would have been that good about it. haha.

    • admin says:

      It’s definitely a matter of practice. I’ve lived in a lot of places and received a lot of ridicule. Sometimes it catches me off guard but for the most part, I try and just help educate.

  • Christy says:

    i’ts totally crazy what people say. When I was pregnant…that is when the really weird comments came at me. Thanks for sharing your insights about mormon religion. We all have a lot to learn about each other.

  • Glory says:

    It’s kind of unbelievable what people assume without actually taking the time to understand. Its great that you put this article together because you really educate (and therefore, correct) people on the actual doctrine/beliefs and dispel the hearsay. Thank you for the interesting read.

  • kmf says:

    Great post. I believe travel is the greatest gift we can give ourselves and to our children. It’s an opportunity to learn about new cultures, dispel myths and discover we are all more alike than different.

    • admin says:

      I couldn’t agree more! That’s why we got into blogging so when we have kids, we can keep them cultured and loving.

  • Michele says:

    This is such a great post with so much meaning. I love exploring different areas and cultures with Payton so that she can learn to appreciate people from everywhere and understand differences.

  • Shirley says:

    I’ve never been to Alaska but now that I’ve read your post, I need to change that asap! I’m pinning this to my travel wishlist board for future reference. Thanks, too, for the information on being a Mormon.

    • admin says:

      Of course! And yes! Go to Alaska. I have a few other posts about where I lived there and I think you might enjoy them.

  • Amanda says:

    I’m glad we are all different. Life would be boring otherwise! And I have 7 children…not mormon, not catholic, and yes we know what causes it haha (that’s the question I always got!)

    • admin says:

      I can’t believe people just assume religion being the reason people have kids! haha I mean, some people just love kids and family! There ain’t nuthin wrong with that!

  • Missy says:

    Working at a zipline in Alaska would be a great way to enjoy the outdoors each day.

  • Stacy says:

    Love this post. Creative way to inform

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