Is she a virgin? Does she wear those magic underwear? How can she believe that crazy story about Joseph Smith and those golden plates?

These were all the nervous thoughts and rude questions circling through my mind as I gazed deeply into the blue eyes of this amazing, charming, and slightly-odd young woman. Against all of my mind’s objections, I was falling for this conservative, Christian, Mormon girl.

I became Clara’s friend over the summer months of 2016 in West Yellowstone, Montana. I gradually learned about her faith, but when I first learned that she was a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I had no idea what that meant.

“Mormon. Like Mitt Romney?” “Yep!”

“Oh, yeah. I saw that episode of South Park.” “That is surprisingly accurate.”

I laughed as Clara kept surprising me as I began dating a Mormon.

She continuously upset my expectations. She challenged all my stereotypes about this saintly, holier-than-thou attitude blanketly subscribed to the devoutly religious.

The most important thing that Clara taught me was: she is not a spokesperson for other Mormons.

She is an individual with her own agency and flaws and challenges. But she is a fierce believer in the gospel and confronted me early about my intentions for dating.

We now call this the “Non-Negotiable” talk.

It was a pre-date walk in the woods. Clara very clearly and bluntly outlined her expectations.

“I only date to get married. You have 1 year to decide. And another year to do it. Otherwise, you better break up with me so I can move on.”

Non-Negotiable Number 2: “I consider watching pornography as cheating. So you’ve got to choose.”

In the moment, it was an easy choice. Of course I would rather date her than watch pornography. At times, this has been a difficult commitment to keep. But through the process of quitting I learned how damaging porn had become to my psyche.

Non-Negotiable Number 3: “I want to have kids and raise them in the Church.”

The big thing here was that this forced me to answer all of these big questions. I had delayed facing the answers through many years of unsuccessful dating.

From this very first walk in the woods…

We began a relationship founded upon deep and meaningful conversations.

One of my first questions about Mormon beliefs was about human’s relationship to the earth and animals. Are humans seen as having greater value then these wild creatures?

If man was created in the image of God and given dominion over the land, why are humans messing it up so badly?

Clara quoted and referred me to a particular line of scripture. (Moses 7:48-49, 55; 1 Nephi 19:12). She showed me how her church–the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints–taught a responsibility to care for the land.

…The God of nature suffers.

1 Nephi 19:12, The Book of Mormon

It’s something that Clara does. She teaches me about the morality and values of Mormons.

Our deep and meaningful talk continues to this day, and it’s one of the reasons that I love dating a Mormon (and one of the reasons that I married one! But that is a story for another time).

Yes, we have our disagreements, but from what I’ve learned, I admire Mormons and their commitment to family and focus on healthy living, both physically and spiritually.

Obviously dating a Mormon isn’t for everybody.

If you don’t like being challenged. If you don’t like learning. And if you don’t like commitment, then dating a Mormon probably isn’t for you.

But if you meet someone that you’re attracted to, someone that you like and care about, and they just so happen to be Mormon…don’t be scared. Give it a try. You just might like it.

And, who knows, maybe you’ll learn something.

Care to read the other side of the story? Click HERE for Clara’s perspective!